Could Fat Actually Be…PHAT?
You deserve better.
You have been kicked around like a tub of goo. No one understands you. You dramatically improve our health and save lives, yet people think you take lives away. Again, you deserve better.
I can help.
People don’t understand the value you provide as dietary fat in helping us burn body fat. They don’t get how you kindly remind our hormones that we are full or how you allow for us to use you as priceless energy without getting stuck in the arteries and heart.
But I get you.
I understand all of the nice things you do…oh and on top of that…you taste great too.
Geez Fat. These 40 years of slander must be taxing for you. Ever since Keys and McGovern ran their smear campaign against you, people have chased you out of every store and home. It must wear on you that they stick you with obesity and everything that goes with it like diabetes, heart disease, strokes, and cardiovascular disease. Boo them.
I think we can change this. I feel like it won’t take too much to have people stop asking, “Is fat good for you?”. We just have to do a bit of a makeover.
See the problem is that you have the same name as those triglycerides that form as padded insulation in our body. I know you aren’t really creating many of those. It is that jerk sugar and his dopey brother grains. They are getting away with murder, literally.
It is time it stops. And it all starts with a solid marketing campaign. So bear with me on this.
I really think we should change your name. You would gain the respect you desire if your name was: PHAT. Because let’s be honest, you are “Pretty-Hot-And-Tempting”.
Now the meaning of PHAT, while maybe 90’s-ish, is still rather positive. Just ask Arsenio Hall. At least a lot more positive than what you have going on right now.
It will help revitalize who you are! It will make people stop and wonder, “Why were we hatin’ on PHAT? He was PHAT all along.” See a noun and an adjective. Winning!
Fat…or PHAT as I will now call you, there is precedence here. There are plenty of other well-known brands that have changed their names in order to provide a better understanding of what they are about: Philip Morris, Blackwater Corporation, and even Sci Fi became SyFy. They have all done much, much worse things than you ever have, especially SyFy.
So why don’t we disown your ugly cousin Trans Fat, he was man-made anyways. And let’s move on with the fresh, shiny new you: PHAT. It has a glistening ring to it, doesn’t it?
Your new PR guy,
Ok now that my love letter to “Fat” is done; let’s talk about this misunderstood guy and why I believe he is actually PHAT (which is a positive thing for those that didn’t live through the 90’s).
Why Fat Is Really Important
Dietary Fats are a large part of what are body is made of. Here is a little “did you know”…
- What is your brain mostly made up of? Fat.
- What are your nerves made up of? Fat.
- What is one of your major sources of energy? As mentioned, healthy fat.
- What is a major building block in our cell membranes and hormones? Uh yeah…fat.
- Who helps those little hormones send messages to the brain to say “Hey we are full down here!”? Fat does.
- Who supports your baby making hormones? Fat does.
- Fat Albert’s first name? Fat.
See how important fat is? Fat is good for you. Fat is healthy.
So let’s not be so mean to this guy. He has gotten a bad rap. He is the Richard Kimball of macronutrients. He is The Fugitive constantly running from Tommy Lee Jones and yelling “You find that man!”
In this case, we will tell you who the one-arm man is later on in this fat series…TEASER!
What’s on Tap?
As people have bought into fat more through the years, they have still treated saturated fat like a scarlet letter. What I am about to say about saturated fat next may shock you.